Stephen van Basten’s August Newsletter


Phew. So much happening in so many areas.


AGE Alert!!

The matric class of 1982 celebrated their 30th reunion at Jeppe High School for Boys.

We all turn 48 this year and have decided to do a 50th birthday bash in 2 years’ time.

What was most striking was that we were all white. A stark reminder of the past.

Next was that we were all from Christian backgrounds. In our day, Religious Instruction was, “Why Christianity is correct and everyone else is wrong”.

What I loved was that after the initial “Who-are-you-agains”  we slotted into our natural pecking order and boyish reverie. Like we had returned from Christmas holidays. Everyone different and still the same.

How interesting that many of us own our own businesses.

The blessing of BEE rather than an excellent education I daresay……………

Looking back I feel annoyed that we were never encouraged to be entrepreneurs. We had our sights set on employment and security which could be argued either way depending on which side of the fence you sit on.

All I know is that we are at work for half of our waking hours; we may as well enjoy what we do!!!

My daughters Challenge:

Apparently my road rage was out of control.

Victoria challenged me to use The Demartini Method on myself.

After 90 minutes of work – my road rage is now down from 90% to 5 %.

Driving with me is apparently an absolute pleasure again J.

I am now in the process of adding a “Road Rage” course to my arsenal of coaching offers!

Let me know if you would love to test it……..

My next step:

After being in my own business now for over a year and getting nicely established with performing Weddings & Funerals and teaching my Relationship & Life Skills courses, it is time to focus on public speaking.

I have completed the first draft of what I believe will become my signature talk:

“Avoiding the regrets of the terminal and bereaved”.


This is an intensely moving, thought provoking and life changing experience based on avoiding the regrets that dying and bereaved people express (when it’s too LATE!!),  giving one the opportunity to make some changes while there is still time.


I would love to present this talk wherever and whenever possible to begin testing it, so if you have a networking group, or own a company or would like to get a couple of people over to your home, I will accommodate you with pleasure.

Turnover Tax:

If you are a small business, turn less than R1m per year, not VAT registered and not a professional (lawyer, plumber, doctor etc.) ask your tax consultant about turnover tax. I used to pay R6000 per month to the tax man, now I pay R300 (yes, three hundred South African Rands).

Tip: Put your monthly tax and/or VAT money into Satrix 40. Then draw it out every 6 months when you need to pay tax. The interest is yours courtesy of the Government!!!

My current mentor:

Dr. John Demartini returns to SA.

I have a favorite saying. “When there’s a master in town, go spend time with him”. 

It’s made such a difference in my life.  In 1989 I trained with the chief instructor of my karate style in Japan for 7 months. In 2009, I won a gold and silver in the World Championships. Coincidence?

John delivers two talks in August:


PUBLIC TALK – Where’s My Billion?
22 Aug, 2012 / Johannesburg, South Africa
VENUE: Montecasino
TIMES: Registration: 19h00. Talk: 19h30 – 21h15 including Q&A
COST: R150 at Computicket or R180 at the door


PUBLIC TALK – The Healing Mind
23 Aug 2012 / Johannesburg
The power of the mind to heal the body.
VENUE: Sandton Convention Centre
TIMES: Registration: 19h00 Talk: 19h30 – 21h45 including Q&A
COST: R250 at Computicket or R280 at the door


My goodness. This is a free service. It’s so good I feel guilty not paying for it.

For awesome newsletters (like this one J) with stats on who opened, who clicked, who subscribed, who unsubscribed simply click on the Mailchimp icon at the bottom of the newsletter and get going immediately.


My secret to success:

Call me old fashioned in a modern world but Tom Peters gave me some sales advice many many years ago which I believe is still sage:

“Tell 10 people daily about your product – belly to belly. Face to face”

I have used this for more than just sales. Share your vision as often as you can. Tell people your goals. Tell people what you are struggling to achieve. Then take appropriate actions to achieve them, don’t just sit back and expect.

Keep talking, keep taking action, try new things, when one door closes – knock on another and eventually, if you are adamant enough, it falls into place.

It may sound a bit esoteric, but somehow the universe brings it in time and on time.


Wedding Blessing:


Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink.

But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.

If you must steal, steal away from bad company.

If you must cheat, cheat death.

And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

Funeral thought:


The ancient Chinese texts spoke thus on death:

People change endlessly in all kinds of ways

You wear out, then are renewed

You dream you are a bird and fly through the sky

You dream you are a fish and plunge into the depths

While you are dreaming you do not know it is a dream

After you wake up you realize you were dreaming

There will be a great awakening

after which you will know that this present life was but a dream

When we were as yet unborn

How could we know the pleasures of life

As long as we have not died

How can we know that death is not pleasant?


Testimonial for The Relationship Experience:

The relationship experience was one of the best decisions Chris and I made during the planning of our wedding. Thanks to the course material and process we were able to tackle issues (differences) that we would probably not otherwise have done.

The relationship experience helped us realize that our relationship is not “perfect” but that it’s “perfect” for us!

It helped us realize how we do complement each other even with our differences and how open and honest communication (if handled with love and care) can really unravel and disarm any arguments and friction that would otherwise build into unnecessary hurt. With the relationship experience Chris and I now feel that we are better equipped to handle those “tough issues” that we know we will be faced with throughout our marriage and although we understand they are sure to pop up occasionally we also know on how to handle them better.

The relationship experience should be done at least once by everyone, whether in a relationship or not as it will open your mind to a new way of looking at the people that enrich your life daily, even if perceived to be in the wrong manner. J


Closing thought:

If a 20 year old South African boy can beat the world’s greatest Olympic swimmer, imagine what we could do if we applied ourselves too!!!!


About Stephen van Basten - The Marriage Expert

When you meet Stephen van Basten you instantly realize that there is more to him than meets the eye. This is not a moment to judge a book by its cover. Stephen boasts a list of achievements: He met his wife, Jacqui, 27 years ago, married her 21 years ago and is the proud father of a 'very together' 18 year old daughter. Stephen will immediately tell you with a twinkle in his eye, that Life, Work, Marriage and Parenthood are not for sissies. That while they are all hard work, they can be, and should be, incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. Stephen is a past Karate World Champion, a yoga enthusiast and recovering golfer. If you opened Trip Advisor on his facebook page you will see that he has visited 81 cities in 52 countries including the USA, Alaska, Japan, Europe, Australia and China. Stephen has owned his own company, worked in his family's business, being employed by small and large businesses like Shell SA and the BTG Group. His titles include Brand Manager, Sales Manager, Account Manager, Sales Representative and Business Owner. He now sees himself as an Author, Speaker, Trainer and Coach. Stephen published his first book, "So you're engaged, now what? The journey from engaged to married" in December 2013. His ingenious marketing strategy put this book into over 2000 hands in its first 6 months. His second book "So you're alive, now what? The journey from birth to death" is available online and he is working on 5 more books in the series including "So you're married, now what?". Stephen's obvious passion and first love is Human Behavior and specifically Human Behavior as it manifests in RELATIONSHIPS. He is quick to point out that we have many differing relationships: employer, employees, customers, suppliers, colleagues, friendships, marriage, parents, siblings, children, our maker, other drivers on the roads and we generally have issues in most if not all of them. Stephen is a student of the well-known human behavior specialist, Dr. John Demartini and is constantly researching and honing his understanding of this incredibly complex subject. In 2013 he completed over 175 hours of intense training on T. Harv Eker's signature courses.
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