Stephen van Basten’s 10 Life Lessons

I am that I am that I am

Always strive to be yourself. Live your dreams and not anyone else’s.

Realize that you are unique. Don’t try to be like anyone else on earth.

I am authentic

Strive to tell the truth. Especially when it is easier to lie.

Your word is all you have. Be true to it.

Life sucks

Life is NOT meant to be easy. It’s designed to challenge and reward you.

Challenge and reward come in different seasons. Be at peace with the season you are in.

True Friends are hard to come by

Most of the people who befriend you do so because you add some value to their lives.

Take away that value and they leave.

Don’t allow this to make you despise your friends, just recognize that they will come and go and be at peace with that.

The universe owes you nothing

You are not entitled to anything. Go out and earn it.

You are responsible for your own life and your own happiness.

Life is a game of trial and error

Go out and PLAY!!!!!! Experiment. Reach for more.

Fail often. Fail again. Fail until you succeed.

There is no shame in failure. Only in giving up.


The meaning of life is to GROW

Personal development, Soul Unfoldment, Self Actualization

We grow more in the hard times. Relish the lessons.

Accept that you are fully human

There are 4628 human traits ranging from love, generosity, energetic, honest through hate, selfish, lethargic, liar.

You own all of the traits. So do your parents, so does your spouse, so do your kids, so does your boss.

Accept them when they are lovely and understand them when they are ugly.


Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink.

But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.

If you must steal, steal away from bad company.

If you must cheat, cheat death.

And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.


About Stephen van Basten - The Marriage Expert

When you meet Stephen van Basten you instantly realize that there is more to him than meets the eye. This is not a moment to judge a book by its cover. Stephen boasts a list of achievements: He met his wife, Jacqui, 27 years ago, married her 21 years ago and is the proud father of a 'very together' 18 year old daughter. Stephen will immediately tell you with a twinkle in his eye, that Life, Work, Marriage and Parenthood are not for sissies. That while they are all hard work, they can be, and should be, incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. Stephen is a past Karate World Champion, a yoga enthusiast and recovering golfer. If you opened Trip Advisor on his facebook page you will see that he has visited 81 cities in 52 countries including the USA, Alaska, Japan, Europe, Australia and China. Stephen has owned his own company, worked in his family's business, being employed by small and large businesses like Shell SA and the BTG Group. His titles include Brand Manager, Sales Manager, Account Manager, Sales Representative and Business Owner. He now sees himself as an Author, Speaker, Trainer and Coach. Stephen published his first book, "So you're engaged, now what? The journey from engaged to married" in December 2013. His ingenious marketing strategy put this book into over 2000 hands in its first 6 months. His second book "So you're alive, now what? The journey from birth to death" is available online and he is working on 5 more books in the series including "So you're married, now what?". Stephen's obvious passion and first love is Human Behavior and specifically Human Behavior as it manifests in RELATIONSHIPS. He is quick to point out that we have many differing relationships: employer, employees, customers, suppliers, colleagues, friendships, marriage, parents, siblings, children, our maker, other drivers on the roads and we generally have issues in most if not all of them. Stephen is a student of the well-known human behavior specialist, Dr. John Demartini and is constantly researching and honing his understanding of this incredibly complex subject. In 2013 he completed over 175 hours of intense training on T. Harv Eker's signature courses.
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