Death – The finalfrontier

www.stephenvanbasten.co.za

 

Death

The final frontier

Death is not something we can understand emotionally.

Emotionally it makes no sense.

 

Even more so when we are faced with an untimely death.

Death is ALWAYS sad but its not always tragic.

Of the 150 funerals I conduct annually, 130 of them are for people well over the 3 score and ten we are promised biblically.

It’s the 20 that are tragic. My worst funerals are when the parents are present. Burying your child is so wrong in so many ways. The only thing I find I am able to say to a grieving parent is that God would never ask them to do something he has never done himself.

 

 I remember a service where the deceased was my age and the daughter doing the eulogy my daughters age. I cried.

 

Funerals are a time of anger,amongst a zillion other emotions, and many people get angry with God. Even claiming that God would or should never allow their loved one to die.

 

I remember a conversation with a lady who lamented the death of her 92 year old mother. She claimed God should have taken someone else.

 

The only way we can come to terms with death is logically. Mentally.

 

Argument 1:

The universe is perfect and everything happens for a reason.

God knows what God is doing and does not make mistakes.

 

Argument 2:

Death is normal.

Not EVERYONE can die at 100 years old in their sleep holding hands with their loved one.

Some people die young, others middle aged, others old.

Some people die of disease, others in accidents, some get murdered, some take their own lives and others die of old age.

There is no wrong way to die and there is no wrong age to die.

 

Argument 3:

We have to die.

There is only so much space on earth.

If there were no death then there would have to be a limited number of births.

If this were the case, the earth would have been full a long time ago and we would not have been born.

This way we all get a turn!

 

I attended a funeral recently for a youngster.

In my opinion, the minister left the family feeling like victims.

Telling a grieving family that this should not have happened is easy.

I believe the better way is to help them accept that it DID happen. That while it makes no sense, and feels terrible, it did happen.

 

Death and funerals are incredibly sad occasions but I am convinced that one day when we pass, we will look down at our friends and family and say, “Please don’t grieve for me. It’s lovely here. I want you all to be at peace as quickly as possible”

 

Weather we like it or not. Accept it or not. Come to terms with it or not. Death is so part of life. We actually start dying the day we are born. We are destined for death. It is inevitable.

 

We arrived on earth before others and where there to welcome them when they arrived. Then we as pioneers, once again, move to the next world and are ere to welcome our friends and family as they arrive on those shores.

 

www.stephenvanbasten.co.za

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About Stephen van Basten - The Marriage Expert

When you meet Stephen van Basten you instantly realize that there is more to him than meets the eye. This is not a moment to judge a book by its cover. Stephen boasts a list of achievements: He met his wife, Jacqui, 27 years ago, married her 21 years ago and is the proud father of a 'very together' 18 year old daughter. Stephen will immediately tell you with a twinkle in his eye, that Life, Work, Marriage and Parenthood are not for sissies. That while they are all hard work, they can be, and should be, incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. Stephen is a past Karate World Champion, a yoga enthusiast and recovering golfer. If you opened Trip Advisor on his facebook page you will see that he has visited 81 cities in 52 countries including the USA, Alaska, Japan, Europe, Australia and China. Stephen has owned his own company, worked in his family's business, being employed by small and large businesses like Shell SA and the BTG Group. His titles include Brand Manager, Sales Manager, Account Manager, Sales Representative and Business Owner. He now sees himself as an Author, Speaker, Trainer and Coach. Stephen published his first book, "So you're engaged, now what? The journey from engaged to married" in December 2013. His ingenious marketing strategy put this book into over 2000 hands in its first 6 months. His second book "So you're alive, now what? The journey from birth to death" is available online and he is working on 5 more books in the series including "So you're married, now what?". Stephen's obvious passion and first love is Human Behavior and specifically Human Behavior as it manifests in RELATIONSHIPS. He is quick to point out that we have many differing relationships: employer, employees, customers, suppliers, colleagues, friendships, marriage, parents, siblings, children, our maker, other drivers on the roads and we generally have issues in most if not all of them. Stephen is a student of the well-known human behavior specialist, Dr. John Demartini and is constantly researching and honing his understanding of this incredibly complex subject. In 2013 he completed over 175 hours of intense training on T. Harv Eker's signature courses.
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